5 tips to survive by when your boyfriend says he does not like your children

– “I do not like your children” – is the worst sentence you as a parent can hear. And especially when it comes from one’s partner. It is almost unbearable. You are ready to leave him/her on the spot!

Our spontaneous reaction will be anger or grief. We are fiercely defensive. We defend our kids (and ourselves) vigiously.

We do what we can to highlight all the fantastic situations where it’s obvious that our children are lovable.

The situation may seem quite unmanageable. How can we possibly continue with your relationship after this message?

How to handle the issue? I want to give you my best guess.

# 1 – Ask your partner
Find the courage to ask your partner what it is he/she dislikes about your child. Avoid going into defensive position (that’s a big challenge.)

Listen. Be on the lookout. Look for clues. Is it in the same situation your partner feel resistance against the child or is it in many different situations. What characteristics “trigger” something in your partner.

Find out what your partner feels is needed, so he/she can get a more positive perception of the child. Ask your partner to be as specific as possible.

What can the child do/say/handle differently?

Based on the answers to the various questions you can work together on a solution that is healthy for you all, realistic and possible to integrate. Remember to notice the smallest, but positive changes along the way.

# 2 – A “hidden” side of your partner
Your partner’s reaction to your children can also be caused by a trait or a side of him/herself that he/she is in denial about. Often these are called our shadow sides.

When he/she for example experiences your children exhibit “greed”, he/she might feel disgust. For him/her it is not okay to be greedy.

There is an English proverb that says it very accurately. And there’s something about it.
What you resist, will persist.”

Again and again we deal with the same type of people and situations.

I think we need to learn from the situation. When we have learned our “lesson” then these confrontations disappear magically.

Maybe your partner was never allowed to be greedy when he/she was a child. Maybe he/she was raised to believe that it is wrong. What did his parents think about greed?

Ask what happens if you “allow” yourselves (and children) to be greedy some times. (We all are in one area or another.)

Try to identify which stories your partner has attached to the word and see if you can find a way, so your partner can have “peace” with the word.

# 3 – Jealousy towards your children
My third bid can be said very briefly. Your partner might be jealous of your children. They “steal” time with you from him/her. And it can be difficult to make up for having to admit it. Therefore, jealousy is projected onto the children.

If you feel that jealousy is the reason for the resistance, then spend a few minutes every day, BEFORE you attend to the kids, by hugging and being present with your partner.

I bet you you’ll have a happy and smiling partner for the rest of the day. You gave him/her exactly what he/she needed (maybe he/she won’t even be conscious of it.)

# 4 – Service level is too high
Are you one of those parents who occasionally forget that children themselves have arms and legs. I did. I catered to my boys without any limits, making my partner angry. My boys seemed spoiled and without any initiative. I did not demand anything from them.

Is it something you can recognize from your own life? If it is, then see it as a welcoming opportunity to turn down the service level. But remember to inform your children that things will have to change from now on. There are new rules.

They will probably complain loudly, but will eventually get used to it. And best of all your partner’s annoyance with your children will hopefully change in proportion, as that will get your family to work as a team.

# 5 – Takes up too much
Honestly – Maybe your partner’s annoyance with your kids is reasonable. Maybe they are completely unreasonable and need to be put in their place. But maybe the children feel that they must compete with your girlfriend about your attention.

If you’ve been alone with them for many years, they had been accustomed to always have your full attention. They need time to get used to that you are no longer their sole “property.” But remember that it’s perfectly ok to tell them that you’re just busy with something else, but that you will return to them as soon as you have time. (It is mportant to remember to get back to them.)

It is a good opportunity to introduce children to the concept of “situational awareness” that they just may find out about what is going on around them. Notice what are the others are doing, before they start to yell for you.

When you show your partner that you give him/her priority status and say no to the kids with respect for both your relationship and them, it might help your partner to remember that habits take time to change. You must have patience. But it is worth being good at noticing the little progress that constantly will show up when you are consistent and loving in your demands of the children.

I hope you have found some new inspiration in my (long) blog.

Have a good day. If you like my post please LIKE The Worlds Biggest Fusion Family on FACEBOOK and/or subscribe to my newsletter.

Affectionate,

Charlotte

 

59 replies
  1. buy viagra austria
    buy viagra austria says:

    Thank you so much, I’ve just been researching specifics of the following subject matter for a time and your site is a better I’ve realised already. In spite of this, everything that on the important thing? Thinking of optimistic in regards towards the amount?

    Reply
  2. Generic Viagra
    Generic Viagra says:

    Hello, a striking piece of writing associate. Effective distribute. Even so I’m certainly difficulties using the Rss. Can not adopt the application. Can other companies looking at exact same RSS feed problem? Any person who can benefit generously answer. Thanks a lot.

    Reply
  3. silagra vs kamagra viagra buy
    silagra vs kamagra viagra buy says:

    Startlingly! It is just like you’re confident of my mind! You appear to understand or know so much about this, that you submitted it within it or something. It looks like you can try some fakes they are driving the information home quite, still apart from that, however this is revealing post. A very good browse. I’ll certainly revisit any more.

    Reply
  4. Replica Bags
    Replica Bags says:

    Just want to say your article is as amazing. The clarity in your submit is simply excellent and i can suppose you’re a professional on this subject. Fine together with your permission allow me to take hold of your feed to stay up to date with drawing close post. Thank you one million and please continue the gratifying work.

    Reply
  5. Designer Handbags
    Designer Handbags says:

    Hi there, I’m just establishing my 1st internet internet site, looking around and figuring out what is required. This blog stuck out straight away. I’m psyched about this, and adore the feel of your page. Are you able to let me know what “theme” you are using?

    Reply
    • admin
      admin says:

      Thank you. The theme I am using is designed for me by a web-designer, it is not a wordpress theme you can buy. Take care and good luck. Charlotte

      Reply
  6. viagra and women
    viagra and women says:

    Subsequently after look over some blogposts against your site considering the fact that last week, and that i absolutely appreciate your style of weblog. As i saved as a favorite doing it in order to my top features location listing and will be reading backside quickly. Pls drop by my website in addition and move the message your personal feeling.

    Reply
  7. cheap football helmets
    cheap football helmets says:

    I have been browsing online more than three hours as of late, but I never discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It¡¯s lovely value sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the internet will probably be a lot more helpful than ever before.

    Reply
  8. the closer full episode
    the closer full episode says:

    A person essentially help to make critically articles I would state. This is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I surprised with the analysis you made to create this particular submit amazing. Excellent job!

    Reply
  9. canon t2i
    canon t2i says:

    Terrific work! That is the kind of information that should be shared around the net. Shame on Google for not positioning this publish upper! Come on over and visit my website . Thank you =)

    Reply
  10. invest liberty reserve
    invest liberty reserve says:

    An unputdownable discourse is couturier note. I believe that you should make many on this topic, it strength not be a taboo bailiwick but generally grouping are not sufficiency to verbalize on much topics. To the succeeding. Cheers like your 5 tips to survive by when your boyfriend says he does not like your children |.

    Reply
  11. moncler jackets
    moncler jackets says:

    Your outlook for this subject has me rethinking my position. We’re glad you shared the next few paragraphs. It??s reduced the problem be a little more open-minded. You happen to be very persuasive writer.

    Reply
  12. Theda Lively
    Theda Lively says:

    Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you’ve on this web site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched everywhere and simply couldn’t come across. What a perfect website.

    Reply
  13. Grady Gingrich
    Grady Gingrich says:

    I simply want to tell you that I’m new to blogging and seriously liked you’re website. Most likely I’m going to bookmark your blog . You actually come with terrific writings. Bless you for sharing your website.

    Reply
  14. Andrew Pelt
    Andrew Pelt says:

    I simply want to say I am just very new to blogging and definitely liked this blog site. More than likely I’m want to bookmark your website . You absolutely come with fabulous articles and reviews. Many thanks for sharing with us your website.

    Reply
  15. Red Bottom Shoes
    Red Bottom Shoes says:

    Excellent post. I was checking continuously this weblog and
    I’m impressed! Extremely useful info particularly the remaining section :) I handle such information much. I was seeking this certain information for a long time. Thanks and best of luck.

    Reply
  16. Cheap christian louboutin
    Cheap christian louboutin says:

    Excellent items from you, man. I’ve remember your stuff prior to and you are just extremely great. I really like what you’ve got here, certainly like what you are stating and the way by which you
    assert it. You are making it entertaining and you still
    care for to stay it smart. I cant wait to learn far more from you.
    That is really a tremendous web site.

    Reply
  17. Discount Oakley Sunglasses
    Discount Oakley Sunglasses says:

    I think everything published made a bunch of sense. However, what about this?
    suppose you were to write a killer headline? I am not
    saying your information isn’t good., but suppose you added something that grabbed folk’s
    attention? I mean 5 tips to survive by when your boyfriend says he
    does not like your children | is kinda boring. You could peek at Yahoo’s front page and note how they create news headlines to grab viewers to click. You might add a video or a pic or two to grab people interested about everything’ve written.
    In my opinion, it might bring your website a little bit more interesting.

    Reply

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. … [Trackback]…

    […] Read More here: fusionfamily.us/uncategorized/5-tips-to-survive-by-when-your-boyfriend-says-he-does-not-like-your-children […]…

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>