I’ve been a part of my fusion family for more than 10 years. It’s been a long journey. Back to myself. When I moved in with my husband I had no idea how much it would require of me.
I did not know then that it would be the core of a massive personal development. Every day. 24/7. I’ve was tired, wanted to run away. Shouted. Cried. Scolded. Felt lonely. Was jealous. Felt like giving up. But also very happy. I felt alive. Felt life. For better or worse.
I grew with the job. Nice and easy. Practicing daily daring to be a fusion mom. Which demanded heroism. Looking back I now understand why it has been so difficult for me. I felt completely out of integrity. Didn’t do it for me, but instead spent my energy on making my husband and kids in the wrong. Pointing the finger at whatever, I did not like.
I felt ashamed of my violent feelings. I should know better. I was the adult. But it didn’t feel like that.
I now know that the mental wounds I incurred as a child had not healed when I met my husband, and the wounds had now been triggered. My little wounded inner child reacted violently, while the adult part of me did not come into play. Every time my hurt feelings were activated, a new opportunity to heal myself arose. I integrated the sides of myself I would not acknowledge. Every time I took the lessons seriously, my irritation vanished like snow in the sun.
I understood that if I wanted to be whole again and get back to my inner core, I now had the chance. I could use my family for my own growth. Quietly, I closed the energy gaps and looked lovingly at my inner wounded child. It felt really good to be me now.
First and foremost, to be in an extended family is about leadership. About your personal leadership. That you dare stand up for yourself. Take the full responsibility for who you are. For better or worse. Show your children in words and actions who you are. What you stand for. When you get off track, you show them both through words and actions, how to get back on track again. Then they will do the same. The children do what we do, not what we say.
When you are okay with being who you are, you show your children the way and inspire them to take leadership in their lives.