In my newletter last month, I wrote about “triggers” in a blended family. I have just been on vacation with my fusion family (and my parents and my sister and her family) and felt on my own body how important it was to know my worst “triggers”.
It really helped me, so now I want to share the content of the newletter with all of you who read my blog. So here here we go:
I have been reading a book on conflicts and became inspired to share some of the author’s good points with you.
We all have “triggers” in regards to people and situations in our everyday lives. Most of us experience that several times a day.
One of my triggers is when my children chew with their mouth open when they eat. I get completely tense. Just like I cannot stand, when the clerk at the check-out counter is in a crappy mood and takes it out on me. Then I want to tell her to get a new job!
We “trigger” on different things. What makes the big difference is whether you react to it or not.
Only 10 percent is due to what actually happens.
Every time you become angry, sad, insulted, mad, sad, introspective, outward-reacting because of a comment or response from another human, then it is only 10 percent of the reaction caused by what the person said. The remaining 90 are already there.
I think this is worth trying to remember, that we often interact with our entire “baggage” when we react.
Know your triggers in your fusion family.
It is very useful in a fusion family to know each other’s triggers. Knowing exactly what you and your partner’s triggers are, and also what triggers the children.
Have fun with this exercise and include the kids (if they are old enough):
• Find three things, phrases, attitudes or lack of reaction in your family which are your triggers and explain them to each other.
Remember that neither you nor the other family members are trying to annoy each other. You are just telling each other what happens to you when you encounter the trigger.
If you like my post please LIKE The Worlds Biggest Fusion Family on FACEBOOK and/or subscribe to my newsletter.