Seen From The Outside, Do You Have Everything That Would Make You Happy

A while ago I watched the broadcast “Stop the Rat Race.” I cried . I was so distraught over the values ​​we live by in Denmark . The woman in the broadcast was sadly just one of many.

It was never intended that we should work so hard for our college degree, so we can get that well-paid job and afford a beautiful house, two nice cars with the man whom we also have a pair of fashionably correct children. After the long to-do lists , we take care of it all as perfect as possible. It feels like being in a hamster wheel .

From the outside, our life seems perfect. We ooze of success. We have mastered it all. It’s all immaculate . We are a successful fusion family . We participate in the PTA , parents’ councils and sports clubs. We do whatever it takes.

We have been told that it is happiness . Now that we have it all, we are not happy. On the contrary . We are about to blow up. And many of us have created a life we do not have the energy to maintain.

We conclude that there is something wrong with us. That we are wrong. And we are ashamed of our ingratitude . We do have everything.

But we have overlooked the fact that the version of happiness our parents and society presented to us is not necessarily our version . Your version of a happy life can look very different .

A number of years ago I stopped and asked myself how many things in my life I would stop doing if there were no spectators at ? Where I did things just to get others’ recognition and respect or to appear “right.”

If no one knew I did it and I was not allowed to tell anyone about it , would I still do it? Very interesting questions and many interesting answers that I do not quite wanted to hear.

If we want to live an honest and authentic life , we need to listen to the answers that come and adjusting accordingly . What is my version of a happy life ? What are my core values? How can I get them in the game already ? And what should I choose in my life?

We trick ourselves into thinking that we do things for the sake of others , but often the truth is that we do not dare say no because we do not trust ourselves. Confident that we can manage other people’s reaction to our “No.”

I said “no thanks” to the family dinner, and to be on the parents’ council and to Christmas Eve with my parents . Without any lengthy explanations . I ‘ve dropped my tendency to ” explain-my-ass-off.”  I do not have to justify my life all the time. Not even to my parents.

I trust that other people are able to handle my “no.” Their response is their responsibility not mine. I let others think what they want about what they see when they look at me and my life. I cannot influence or control their reaction any way.

Instead, I remind myself daily that life is intended to be fun, easy and pleasurable . 

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