How Do You React When People Indirectly, Without Words Reach Out To You?

What would our world look like, if we gave our fellow human beings what they need, when we meet them?

How would my mom feel like, if I give her the care she needs, when she is holding her stomach and with a faint voice says hello, when she lets me in?

What would happen, if I acknowledge, that I see she is feeling bad? If I stop ignoring her wordless need for care? Sometimes “too much” “too excessive” “too often” and “too weak” to me?

How will she feel about it? How will I feel?

 

Charlotte Egemar Kaaber

Wordless appeals drain my energy, because I replay this scene over and over. Analyze it back and forth. Need to talk about it. Get acceptance and understanding of my feelings. Make sure that I am not the one who is in the wrong.

It’s like I think I’m changing reality, if I stay in my resistance long enough. Suffer long enough.

I work best with direct communication; I need a, b, c. That works for me. I understand. I respect that and it makes me want to meet the need.

But the world doesn’t operate that way. At least not in my world. In my world we all reach out to each other. Wordless. Me too. Although we will not admit it. So we all do it from time to another. And in different situations.

We all need care. Need to be seen. Understood. Loved. Being taken care of. WITHOUT having to ask for it.

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It feels SO good to be understood by another human being, who sees what we need. IN this moment. And give it to us. Completely without making counterclaims.
It is deeply nourishing to receive.

It is worth pondering, that we use more energy to be annoyed at a person, than to give that person, what we can feel he/she needs. And especially, if it doesn’t require anything special of us.

But we often react with all the baggage of the past and past episodes. And it’s the thoughts from previous events, which are the reasons, that we will not give another human being, what he/she needs. We are planning strategically. Conducting score systems. Collecting points. Remembering. Hold grudges. Thinking if “everybody wants a slice of my pie, then there is nothing left for me”.

We have no opinion from situation to situation, but from ghosts of the past and Future potential risks.

How does this approach benefit us?

My guess is; a sense of separation, where we could have felt closeness and connection.

The fact is that not everybody wants a slice of our pie. And not everybody will come rushing with demands from morning to night. It is a story we tell ourselves,
not to feel obligated.

But we do not protect ourselves, when we keep the world out at arm’s length. On the contrary. We keep love out.

What will happen if we collectively today resolve to give our fellow human beings, what they need, completely and without reservation and “you owe
me”?

Will it open your heart? My heart? The heart of the person, who is the subject of our care?

I think we all feel even better. Feel even more loved, seen, understood, important and valuable. When we are lovingly filled up within us, then we can benefit from giving to the next voiceless appeal we meet on our way.

I give at least give my mother a long, loving and warm hug next time I see, that she needs care.

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