We used the same slang, were wearing the same clothes, were in love with the same boys, saw the same TV shows on television. It was like being a member of a special club for a selected few.
There is something healing about being a part of something bigger. Having people in your vicinity to be reckoned with. People who understand you, share similar interests and have the same humor.
The feeling of being associated with others who cherish a right into your soul.
If we will sabotage ourselves we make sure not to surround ourselves with nourishing club members. We feel alone, outside and yearn for something bigger. Or when we become part of a fusion family, we come to participate in inappropriate clubs. Clubs that in no way give us anything or directly drain us. And our family relationship.
I call them Bitching Clubs. Here we bitch about things. We find cohesion in the complaining. It could be the club for Stupid ex-wifes/men, Club for Excruciating Fusion children or Club for Boyfriends who do not discipline the children.
When we are members of these clubs, we cultivate all which doesn’t benefit us. We spend our energy on everything we don’t like. Yes, then the Universe delivers. And there will be more to complain about all the way into our consciousness. Do not go there.
What you focus on, you get more of.
So focus your loving energy on what you want. Solutions. Participate in clubs where you will get support and lift from each other to look at what the ex-wife or fusion children trigger in you? And how can you take responsibility for these feelings. Without doing the others wrong.
If we are good at self-supporting, we make sure to surround ourselves with people and join clubs that lifts and nourishes us. People who reflect ourselves and our desires beautifully.