Entries by admin

If Everything Goes Wrong in My Blended Family, I Can Take Care of Myself!

I am independent. In every way. I do not need anyone. And not a man. I hate the idea that someone has to decide over me. I enjoy knowing that I can always leave if my desire for freedom gets intense. Or if I feel  threatened. I fear ending up like my mother, whom in […]

Do You Feel That Your Blended Family is in The Way?

I have often felt that my family was in the way of my creativity and my sense of freedom. I felt trapped and it often made me angry. I did not want to be considerate and to compromise for their sake. I was afraid to miss out on things in the real world, all the […]

Are You Taking Too Much Responsibility in Your Fusion Family?

During my training as a Spiritual Mentor I encountered parts of myself, I have never noticed before. I even start sweating when new and deep knowledge insists on being integrated into my cells. At first I thought it was due to a sudden onset of menopause, but now I know the symptoms and know that […]

Do You Play The Role of a Victim or a Martyr in Your Blended Family?

The victim takes less than 100% responsibility and martyr takes more than 100% responsibility. I know both roles well, because I am one of those women who can vacuum quickly and loudly. Fold the laundry in an energetic manner so that everyone around me is not in doubt that I am efficient. Performing and taking […]

When We In Our Partnership In a Fusion Family Are Not seen Or Noticed

I am married to a man who is always deeply absorbed in the things he chooses to spend his energy on. He has many interests which are great when it’s me who is the center of his attention. But he has, strangely enough, also other things in life than me. Work colleagues, kids, taekwondo, spearfishing, […]

Use your surroundings as a mirror to grow as a person

“You can use your surroundings and especially the children as a mirror to show you exactly what you need to integrate and balance within yourself,” explained a wise woman to me about year ago. I was furious when she told me that I should just change within myself and then my “messy” relationships (in this […]

Less action, more couch time in your blended life

How would your life look like if you eliminate all the obsessive or fear-based action?  How much of a difference will it make for your stepfamily life and for your life in general? Questions I asked myself and it came from the reflections below. Hopefully you will be inspired. Imagine the following scenario: It is […]

Avoid making a fatal error when you and your boyfriend talk about his ex

I had a good chat with an old girlfriend. We talked about her boyfriend’s ex. My friend was completely devastated and cried because of the ex-wife. She had been so ‘thoughtless’ to ask her boyfriend how his ex-wife looked like, to which he honestly replied – “She’s beautiful.” The answer struck her out completely, but […]

What do you think the kids would say about you if you were no longer here?

I was asked that very question in (yet) one of my self-help books. The author wanted me to reflect on the issue and if I, of course, unthinkable, did not like the answer I thought the kids would give, I had many years to rectify the situation, hopefully. The author further urged me to ask […]

When grandparents of blended families treat the grandchildren differently

As a blended family, it may be painful to experience the grandparents treating their grandchildren differently. The “real” grandchildren get more attention and are pampered, and the fusion grandchildren seem non-existent in the grandparents’ minds. For a fusion parent this apparent discrimination is interpreted as a lack of acceptance and recognition from his/her partner’s parents […]